


Safe

by AnnieB



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:14:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4418999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieB/pseuds/AnnieB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John just wants to make Rodney feel safe again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Safe1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first bit of this a while ago and had pretty much decided to leave it where it ended but then I got an idea for the next bit and the next bit so I've decided to keep adding to it as often as I can. Much love to Devra who keeps encouraging me to do this stuff, especially because this is not one of her fandoms. The explicit part will come later on ;)

Rodney’s been back from the slave camp on Maldona for almost a week now. Physically he’s recovered well from the injuries he sustained during the 3 months, 1 week, 4 days and 7 hours he was held prisoner there. Yes, John had been keeping count the entire time till they’d found him and brought him home to Atlantis. Carson released him from the infirmary two days ago but asked John to stick close to him, make sure he rested and ate. The first part of that is easy, the second surprisingly difficult.

Rodney just shrugs when John tells him it’s meatloaf night in the dining hall and they should go now if they want to be sure there’s any left. Shrugging isn’t a response John expects from Rodney when there’s food involved but it’s a response nonetheless so he seizes the moment, grabs Rodney by the arm and pretty much drags him along to the dining hall. Rodney makes a token protest of hanging back momentarily but then he seems to give in and apathetically follows in John’s wake.

John feels like a helicopter parent as he exhorts Rodney to try just a little bit more of everything on his plate and that’s another non-Rodney reaction. Usually Rodney would have hoovered up not only his own meal but whatever John hadn’t eaten yet in the ten minutes they’ve been sitting there. Rodney finally pushes the plate away and John lets it go. Rodney’s eaten more than he has in the past days at least. He’s about to get up for more coffee when he senses Rodney stiffening beside him. Looking up, John sees several Atlantis personnel heading toward their table. Rodney has a deer in the headlights look on his face that gets more strained when they reach them and tell him how glad they are he’s back safely. 

John knows Rodney’s fighting not to get up and run so he puts his hand under the table and just rests it on Rodney’s leg, squeezing gently. Rodney doesn’t react at first but after few moments he puts his own hand under the table and places it over John’s.

Once the well-wishers have left, John stands up and leads the way out of the hall. On the way across he can feel Rodney walking so close behind him that if John has to stop suddenly he’ll end up with Rodney’s nose smashed up against his backbone. A couple of other people call out to them as they leave and John smiles when he hears Rodney murmur “thank you” to them. He keeps going till they reach the transporter and once they’re inside presses the coordinates for the pier, the one they’d spent the night on when Rodney had been dying from the Second Childhood disease.

Out on the pier, the city looms above and below them, her lights reflected in the night-dark waters. John sits down and dangles his legs over the edge. When Rodney does too, John moves over till he can pull Rodney close against his side then he leans in and places a soft caress on Rodney’s mouth. He smiles against it as Rodney slowly responds then pulls back and tells him, “You’re gonna be just fine, Rodney.”


	2. Safe2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters are quite short but hopefully they'll get longer now I've got more free time to write at last.

He’s not really fine though John chooses to ignore that as Rodney gradually gets back to work. Rodney’s talking more now, almost back up to Rodney-speed as if he’d never been away, he’s working and eating and the only time he seems different is when someone walks past and pats him on the back or shakes him by the hand. Then that deer in the headlights look is back and John can literally smell the fight or flight response on him. The only people he doesn’t flinch away from are John and Ronon. John’s a little jealous about that though he knows it’s understandable. Ronon had been in the slave camp with Rodney and he seems to have become Rodney’s protector both there and back on Atlantis. John can almost see the hackles rise on Ronon’s neck when Rodney reacts at being touched by others. He sometimes thinks Ronon only allows John to get that close to Rodney because Rodney tacitly permits it.

There’s no real closeness in their quarters though. Whatever intimacy they’d once shared is replaced by them simply sharing a bed though Rodney snuggles against him at night. The one time John had made overtures at more than that had caused Rodney to literally leap from the bed and cower in the corner, shaking. John hasn’t tried since. He’d spent the entire night convincing Rodney to go back to bed with him and has no wish to repeat the experiment.

Rodney won’t talk about exactly what happened in the camp and all Ronon has said is that it was brutal. John sees Rodney’s eyes flick over to Ronon at the briefing about it and notes the grateful look in his eyes when Ronon doesn’t elaborate any further. John wants to ask Carson about the exact nature of Rodney’s injuries but he’s not sure if he really wants to know until the night Rodney freaks out in his sleep and John decides the only way he can help him is to know the whole story. So he sees Rodney safely off to his lab and then goes to beard Carson in the infirmary.


	3. Safe3

“You want me to tell you the details of Rodney’s medical condition when he arrived back here from Maldona?” Carson’s frowning and his lips are set in a narrow line as he’s trying to prevent anything more than what he chooses to divulge slipping out. ”May I ask why?”

John knows that Carson is aware of his and Rodney’s relationship, probably everyone on Atlantis is by now. They hadn’t exactly been circumspect about it even when it had first begun. They’d both been so damned pleased to realize that the other felt the same way that, on seeing them at breakfast the morning after their first night together, Ronon had clapped them both on the back and said, loud enough for the entire mess hall to hear (as well as quite likely everyone on Atlantis and New Athos), “About time you two got it together.” Teyla had just smiled and said, “I am very happy for you both.” However, Carson’s not going to tell John Rodney’s private medical details just because he’s Rodney’s boyfriend so he says instead, “Well, as his commanding officer I think it’s important for me to know exactly what happened to him there just in case it affects him adversely when we’re on a mission.” 

He’s rather proud of his quick thinking till Carson says, somewhat snippily, “I’ve already told you he’s not ready to go on any away missions, Colonel. I won’t be authorizing him cleared to do that till I’m damn well sure he is completely recovered and not likely to have any adverse reactions anywhere to anything.”

John knows Carson knows exactly what he’s trying to do and John decides that maybe honesty is the best policy after all. “Look, Doc,” he says earnestly, “Rodney’s still having nightmares almost every night.”

“That’s to be expected,” Carson replies briskly, but there’s sympathy softening his eyes. 

John goes for broke. “The other night I went to pull him over to me in bed,” he says, feeling his cheeks heat at talking about something he’s always considered intensely private, “and he was fine at first. He seems to feel safe with me and that’s a good thing but I guess I thought he was ready for the next step—” John stops, bites his lip then forces himself to go on. “He freaked out. I mean, really freaked out when I started to touch him. He flew out of bed and ended up cowering against the wall, shaking. It took an hour or more before I could convince him that it was safe for him to come back to bed. That I wasn’t going to do anything he didn’t want me to do. I think he thought I was going to rape him.”

“No, he didn’t,” Carson replies gently, “but I will tell you that for a while to come any attempts at intimacy by you will probably cause him to flash back to things that were done to him on that damnable planet.” He clamps his mouth shut firmly but then leans forward and pats John on the shoulder. “I’ve said more than I probably should have,” he says, “but all I can advise you to do is to give him time. Let him be the one to initiate things. He will when he’s ready.”

“What if he never feels ready?” John asks, standing up.

“If that part of your relationship has to be put on hold for an indeterminate amount of time, will it change how you feel about him?” Carson asks.

“No.” John’s answer is immediate and honest.

“Then give him time. Now off with you and do something soldierly like you should be doing. I have patients to look after.”


End file.
